Strangeness of the eyes

my eyes confuse me,
not what they do not see,
not how they see two images,
but what they do see.
At work, on the computer,
i am reviewing a database. in as best as i can describe. scroll view.
The information is flying past and 30 to 50 records at a time,
i take it in.
How?
I have not a clue, but i do,
till i find what i am looking for.
The scrolling is so fast that i over shoot my mark
and must go back.
How strange this is!
Like Data in an old star trek, the info flies past.
I am surprised, how can this be?
As tired as i get from this use,
i still marvel and have not a clue.

Random Experiences for the day

Walking to work,
maybe,
for it felt more like i was swimming through a wall of water,
the humidity was so high.
The high heat of the past few days was nothing compared to this,
this moisture which clung to my every step.

From the lab, on the eighth floor,
I spy a storm in the distance.
It is dark and intense,
but i see no flashes of lighting
nor hear any rumble of thunder.
Soon it is gone,
not coming near,
but clearing the air it seems.
A new intern, less vibrant,
 less interested than the last, but nevertheless a help.

Walking home i stop at a local store.
i know the owners,
but many times they are not there,
i stop anyway.
The help, i am sure wonders about this,
 but it is simple,
it is a flower shop.
i stop for the beauty of the plants,
the smells
and the people who do work there.

The air has cleared and is not so heavy.
The sun that was a haze,
is full and bight,
but it is not so hot as days past.
It is a pleasure to walk home.

a meeting place

i have fought my battles
and they are all but won
and now one more foe i must face.
It creeps softly, silently like a fog, not a cat,
gradually grasping for my soul.
It is dark and forbidding
and it shuts out all light.
It is not something to surrender to,
for that would be the end of life.
This malaise,
this feeling of hopelessness that comes from no where.
Despair is one of its names,
depression another.
It saps strength and will
and now i face it, knowing its name
and confident in the outcome.
For my energy is strong and my heart is not willing to be taken prisoner
by such a mighty and horrible foe.

clearing

The sun beat down unmercifully,
driving most people,
with any semblance of sanity,
indoors,
but not me.
The garden beckoned me.
Calling my name,
"finish now what you began", it demanded.
And so into the triangle, where i had begun to thin out,
the one where the green monster had lived,
I moved.
i moved carefully
because what once was difficult,
was nigh unto impossible.
Keeping my balance that it.
So i moved,
without grace,
trimming,
clearing weeds
and making tame what once was an untamed wilderness.
sweat poured off my heated brow,
that i did not mind,
but it fell onto my glasses,
distorted still more,
my distorted vision,
The plants that were left thanked me as i left.
Was it for leaving or for giving them room to breath?
I do not know for now i went inside to escape the sun's wrath.

Moments

Thoughts come together
and then fall apart,
not in an instance,
but in some crazy fractal way,
piece by piece.
I grab at the pieces,
but they are gone,
being replaced by yet another image.
Like a child's kaleidoscope,
the pieces shape and change,
in crazy patterns and angles.
I look for my touchstone,
a crazy unused number that is embedded in my mind.
I lost it once and did not remember its importance,
6.02 times 10 to the 23 power,
I even remember the inverse, the number i might use,
\in some long forgotten class.
It is still intact,
unmolested by this crazy pattern in my head.
Events, mix separate and come together in strange ways.
Peoples conversations, not here come together and break apart.
What strange effects this week had on me!
I am okay, just a bit mixed, shaken and stirred,
but i am okay.

The evolution

When i first started at the Health department,
i had been encouraged to so because it was a relatively "safe" job
and i was brash and impulsive and reckless,
not good qualities for a chemist,
but i loved to learn
and so that is what i did.
I learned and found that i could give advice with what i learned.
At first, this was a rush,
a source of pride, of arrogance.
It was easy for me to put together pieces of a puzzle and see thing connecting,
where others did not,
and so i published my first research article.
Some where this knowledge began to matured
and became just a vehicle to help people,
to give them something to make a decision,
that otherwise they would be in a quandary.
i learned more, put together more pieces, directed investigations,
cause i saw how to put things together so they made sense.

This week was a rough week for many reasons.
there were people with knowledge, who distorted it to their own advantage.
There were out right liars
and there were those who hid just enough of the truth, so some one else could "hang" themselves with it.
i am fairly passionate,
i got very angry.
i exposed the lie, the hidden, the distorted.
It was not good for me, for my health, my well being, but it did make a lot of people safer.
Was it worth it?
I am still pondering that question and do not have an answer yet.

Distractions

I have been distracted lately
and it had means there are many things that i was doing,
 that i am not.
Like painting
and blogging.
While some of those distractions are frivolous, many are not.
Like my Garden...

or my friends...

Jenny                                                                        Courtney

 

Irene

And even Art

I guess the distraction are okay!