Friday, July 25, 2014

A Time To Die Or Not

a descriptive narrative of my operation

The problems had become increasingly unbearable,
the sharp, 20 second burst of pain over my left eye.
They left me unable to do anything,
for those long twenty seconds.
They came with almost no warning
and I was a danger while driving,
but sometimes I was able to pull over,
before the sharpness caused my eyes to shut.
On a date,
it became so bad
and scared the person i was with.
A doctors visit,
a can scan,
a referral,
another doctor,
an MRI
and then the news,
a tumor,
pressing against my brain stem,
this is what caused the aches.
It had to come out,
but in 2 weeks.
I was frightened,
as never before.
Frightened of death,
though that was not foretold by the second doctor.
He would remove it
and i would be okay.
A few days of double vision,
maybe some nausea
and a couple of weeks in the hospital.
Back to work in a month at the most.



My fear paralyzed me,
but i could not give it voice.
My friends did not know what to do,
we went to a psychic,
who told me time was not yet.
I felt relieved,
until they handed me that waiver,
before the operation.
In black and white in said that i could die during the procedure.
I was, yet again, in fear.
The anesthesiologist came
and i counted backwards from 10,
then blackness.
Time passed,
but i was unaware.
I hear a voice,
"He's not breathing people!".
An urgency was there
and i found myself in a peaceful place,
surrounded by love,
without pain.
It was timeless
and there was no fear.
I wake,
coughing,
sit up not able to breath correctly.
Something in my lung.
I cough and reach up and find a tube entering my mouth.
I pull it out,
gasping
and choking
and coughing.
A frantic person in a surgical gown,
tries to reason with me,
tries to stop me
and then the anesthesiologist,
injects me again,
i sleep without dreams.

Another awakening,
fuzzy,
I am not coherent.
My mom and some number of friends are there,
but consciousness fades.
Again, i awake,
in a darkened room,
with machines tied to me.
There is pain,
i am alone except for two doctors yelling at each other,
about something thinks the other did wrong,
but it is not about me.
Pain, light, shadow,
all assail me
and i struggle,
not knowing why.
That other place was so wonderful,
beyond words,
but i no longer have time for that.
My site begins to clear,
but it is double.
Everything i see is replicated over itself,
i still can not truly see.
A few days, not weeks, go by
and i am out of ICU,
but still not well.

My head is swollen
and there are poundings in the back of my head,
where they cut me.
My vision,
confused at best,
still doubles the images.
I can not walk,
I can not stand.
Someone must be with me for all activities,
i have no modesty and do not care.
I cough and can not properly swallow.

Days turn to weeks,
weeks into months.
Daily or twice therapy
or was more than one,
teaching me to stand
and to walk
and to see with a patch covering one eye.
I am able to get a lap top
and i am surprised when i remember pass words.

Two months and then they let me go.
I still can not walk with  out a cane,
my head is still swollen.
I aspirate my food often,
but i told them i was okay
or they would still,
have kept me.
One more time under the knife, to help drain the fluid.
This was quick and painless,
not like before.
The swelling goes,
but time passes and i lose one more thing,
cognition.
I can not remember how to cook a turkey,
fix a bed,
my passwords are gone
and i begin to lose myself.
A fall,
a woman sceams,
a fire truck,
a gentle paramedic
are all that i remember
and more time in that white walled place,
thoughts and memories are blurred,
vague images of doctors and nurses.
Now under the knife again to shut off what allowed the swelling to drain.
I wake up me again,
knowing who i am,
but not fully knowing what has happened.
I am awake,
but much is gone,
there are at least two years erased from memory,
maybe more.
I meet people,
who i do not know.
People tell me of things that i have done
and the recollection is not there.
Places I have been from before that,
I remember,
but those two years are simply gone.

Now slowly i recover
and soon go back to work,
only part-time.
It has been 9 months
and i still do not have the energy.
The adventure never ends,
for this is what i call it.
It is not negative, but positive,
for I still remember the place of peace and quiet
and there is no more fear now.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

when "I don't know" is a great answer

Still nervous,
again.
The Doctors office has a new appointment,
quickly.
Questions race through my mind,
If it was nothing, why so soon?
The doctor is the one whom i am most nervous about,
he did the operation some 6 years ago.
He was the one with all the answers,
not necessarily the correct ones,
but the ones that made me feel safe,
but he did remove the tumor
and for that i am grateful.
He looks at me
and he listens.
He then checks my gait
and is stumped.
He says; "I am the one who is supposed to tell you, this is what is wrong
and this is what I need to do to fix it."
"I see what you are complaining about,
but I do not know,
I do not know what is causing this.
I need to consult with others to see what we do form here."
He was visibly upset,
i was not.
So relieved that he did not know,
that he would seek an answer because of this,
i am relieved beyond words.

i can wait and I am happy.


Wednesday, July 23, 2014

a gift to give

She had been by before,
looking at what was in the garden.
She had run quickly away,
not understanding what I said,
fearing i would be angry.
Today she was there again
and i held out some fresh mint
and she understood.
She spoke a broken creole,
so i would not understand her desires,
but i could see in her eyes.
fennel, mint, cilantro which had gone to seed and basil,
all were offered
and she then blessed me,
i am good with that.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

A chance encounter

A situation that looked bleak,
she left at the beginning of my trauma,
maybe she could not deal,
but she left when I need someone like her the most.
Years later,
a chance meeting,
showed how angry I still was,
it was after my mother's passing and
she asked after my mother.
She who had inadvertently left
my mom to fend for herself,
when she left me.
More years pass,
I do not carry the anger
and I hear that she is not doing well,
I think only good things,
wishing her the best in my heart.
almost 6 years now
and we met again
and I am kind,
wishing her well,
face to face.
no animosity,
no anger,
only wanting the best.
Reconciliation?
I will take it.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Next

No news is good news?
How about a comedy of errors resulting in no doctor appointment is no news...
Is this good or not?
Reschedule for some future date,
but computers are down so
I can not know yet.
I compounded the issue by having the wrong time down ...
from the beginning.
It just makes my case strong...
there is something wrong,
but what is it?
To be continued...

Sunday, July 20, 2014

what it is

I walk,
wobbling and swaying,
not like some toy duck,
but as a drunken sailor,
walking the deck of a boat,
tossed by a rough storm,
but i have had nothing to drink.
My head hurts in a number of places,
each adding to the dismay that growths in my heart.
The doctors have found no cause,
from their tests and MRIs.
No cause for alarm,
yet the very problems cause me alarm.
I wonder how much longer I can go on...
The hurt,
the vision,
causing confusion.
I try shutting my eyes,
but the pain remains
So is this my vision
or something else.
My heart grows fearful,
I seem to lose hope
and strength of will
and then regains its calm.
I still see beauty in this world,
though darkness seems to want to demolish what is left.
Flowers bloom,
babies laugh
and the sun shines,
so brightness exists
and i am good with that.


Thursday, July 17, 2014

traces of fear

fear is not what you think,
it is not the knock in a dark night.
it is not the mindless hysteria,
wrote by things not known.
Fear is what i know,
that all those things we breath,
all those "good" foods we ingest,
still have the same or worse
than all the mindless statements,
made by persons who wish to rally an unknown cause,
yet it is only to line their own pockets.
That product shipped and consumed
for persons who believe it has a seal that is beyond question.
The same solvent found in those products was
used for years when people felt decaf coffee was best for them.
The bacteria and viruses that only now we discover
cause lingering illnesses and cancers,
we once thought were due to stress.
Those "chemicals" we breath
and drink
and consume
are there because someone,
wanted to line their pocket,
 with the quickest way to get rich.
I have lived
and worked
and handled
things far worse than all of these

and i still live.

that thief is gone

it is sad to say,
but fear quenched my heart for a time.
I believe it is open again
for words are sprouting
like new seeds in fertile ground.
I think,
i feel
and then words come tumbling out.
Like a boat that has loosed itself from its moorings,
in a rocky sea,
in stormy weather,.
Floating and gyrating wildly
as waves tear at its bow.
frozen inside,
my heart failed to speak
and now the storm has passed,
finds itself far out to sea.
It is still rocking uncomfortably,
for the swells are large,
the storm is calmer,
but not over.
I can sing again,
It is funny how fear steals our voice,
our song.
We make fast a sail,
on a mast that is not broken
and head for home.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Dreams

too many and i remember them all....
one at the doctors office,
talking about my new symptoms
and they simply say the symptoms are not enough to concern them
or be bother with....
I want to shout,
but it is a dream and i can not,
they bother me!
What is wrong with you?!
But the dreams fades and the next takes its place.
I am marring someone
and Bobby Flay is there and asking me:
"Are you sure you are ready. I mean you don't appear to be ready>"
I assure him I am and the marriage goes forward.
Interesting to say the least.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

garden life

walking though the tall, green, mint,
releasing an aroma that is so wonderful.
I must cut some of it,
for it does take over,
yet the flowers of other plants still stick out,
proudly in colors and shapes that are vibrant,
at the very least.
My dread and anticipation have lessened,
at least now, till the next visit,
which will be in a few weeks,
then perhaps more answers,
but the most serious of concerns have been relieved.
So I enjoy the smells and the sights,
the night blooming cereus treated me the other night,
the day lilies during the day.
Herbs and vegetables abound,
I pick them daily!
Squash flowers for fritters,
tomatoes and basil and arugula and chives and parsley and cilantro, of course, mint.
Red raspberries and potatoes and celery.
The cucumbers, not yet.
The early peas are late,
bok choy and red cabbage are growing
and lettuce is being harvested daily.
All is good.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Waiting and then there are gifts

The long MRI was Sunday.
one and one half hours long,
but shorter than what they said.
I wait for results,
hoping they show something,
for i know that there is wrong,
my head spins more
and there are headaches
and balance is harder to keep.
The main worry was with my head,
but an earlier MRI,
dispelled that fear.
So while I wait,
the garden gives gifts;
The leeks have gone to flower
and the night blooming cereus treats me to 3 days of blossoms,
filling the night air with a fragrance,
that might be described and a lemony sweet aroma,
but i call heavenly.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Building a Reputation

The first health director had used the information that came to him from the lab to further his own ideas; the new health director relied on the information and the results of our test to make policy, at least most of the time.
My skills with databases were becoming very strong and I ended building databases for at least three other departments and there was evening work because of it.
I also used our own database to understand what was happening with well water, what were issues, what were not issues.  The new health director had me go to the American Public Health Associations (APHA) annual meeting in New York and present.  I also went to the annual American Association for the Advancement of Sciences (AAAS) in Washington DC to present the same information.
Both presentations were well received and I began to be contacted nationally regarding the information.
Unlike a private company, any information I garnered was already public information and I was open about sharing it, to the surprise of many.
The more testing we did, the more people noticed and I was featured in the local paper, along with pictures several times in the papers.  When people would compliment me on making the paper, I would make light of it saying that it was so beach goers could have a face to throw darts at when the beaches were closed.
This created a reputation for me and people would come in with problem samples.  Some times they came in with a specific thought in their mind and some times they were correct, often times it was something else.
With each person, each sample, I tried to learn something.  I did not know everything and would read and listen to anything that I could, and then I would test to see if it were true.
A fun example would address mineral build up in dishwashers; I had heard that Tang was an effective cure for the problem.  Intuitively, I understood that the citric acid in Tang would dissolve minerals, so I devised an experiment, drying calcium carbonate in a glass breaker.  I added a teaspoon of the orange powder and it dissolved the minerals in warm water.  Not content with the lab experiment, I went to the home of friends who had very hard water and added the powder to a regular run of the dishwasher, not only did it clean the dishwasher, the dishes were also sparkling for the first time in years.  Doing the "what if" thing was working nicely for me and I passed on the info.
The Environmental Health division was changing and more persons from that department were looking for help with problems they were finding.
They began to ask for my help in designing the surveys.
One particular survey challenged someone with money and influence and used tracer dyes.  I had to prepare the entire procedure because everyone was sure it would be challenged.  The orders coming from the results of the test were challenged and then appealed at the state level.  Our orders stood.  My results stood.
I now had the respect of the state.
Somewhere in this series of events, I became disliked by the one IT person the city employed for I used my skills and built a LAN system in the lab, connecting all three of our computers and I did this before anyone else was "networked" and with out the IT person's help.  Later, before the one person was replaced by a dozen, he refused to allow the lab into the city network.  The others who replaced him had no such issues and treated me as a power user with a lot of latitude.
Some times doing what was right, got me into trouble.  I tried to do hat was right anyway.
At this point the lab workers were paid significantly less than the Environmental Health personnel with a "RS" behind their names.  I thought that if I were ever to challenge that structure, I needed a "RS" or Registered Sanitarian certification.
I took the test, without studying, finished first in the group taking the test and received the highest score that had been.
More insects came to the lab for identification, some so strange, they would baffle even the experts at the State agricultural Experiment Station.
We used them a great deal, even using them for bizarre, experimental methods to help identify unknown items that were brought to the lab and now they knew us on a first name basis.
Several nearby (and some not so nearby) health departments sought our, okay in reality; it was my help in testing recreational beach water. There were several non-profit environmental agencies looking at the Long Island Sound and they began asking for help with some of the water quality questions they had.  Knowledge with them was a one-way street, I gave and they kept, but here I met an environmental activist, but realist, who volunteered at one of them.  Art Glowka and I would become good friends and he would share whatever information he could, but he was best at asking questions and I was best trying to find answers for him.  This was a symbiotic relationship.
Lyme disease began making news and we were sending the ticks to the Agricultural Experiment Station (Ag Station) for testing.  While one of the environmental health persons did the bulk of the work, we took it over after only a few years and it became a lab function.  The Ag Station appreciated our screening of things that were not ticks and our reputation increased.
Of course working in lab, we wore protective clothing, that is white lab coats.  It was obvious for persons coming into the lab that there was a great deal of medical work going on.  The white lab coat generated an unusual response from the general public, they thought we were doctors.  This was understandable for we did much clinical testing for the health department programs and for the medical community in Stamford.  Sometimes even our secretary had people open up to her on the phone concerning medical issues because we were the health department lab, but as we became known as a tick testing center, people would come in and ask any one of us if such and such was a tick bite and an article of clothing would be removed.  While for a short time one of the technicians was an MD waiting for his internship, we mostly had to calmly and carefully explain that we were not doctors and they needed to put what ever they took off, back on.
While this was a bit humorous to us, we all took the time we had advising the public very seriously, they trusted us and with Lyme disease and other issues this was very serious.
We tried to follow the Centers for Disease Control's guidelines and we told the persons coming into the lab for advice exactly what was recommended.  This brought me into some conflict with the lab director since he felt I was giving out medical advice and challenging doctors who were not treating people who had obvious symptoms, including the bull's eye rash, but rather waiting for a blood test that was at best unreliable.  I had no problem with it, but both us agreed that there were real reasons for "chronic Lyme" that went beyond an infection.
I wanted an educational seminar to educate doctors, but that was not going to happen.
Rabies crossed the Hudson River and began killing the large, urban raccoon and skunk population.  Again, we were the primary source of current information for the public, doctors and veterinarians and our reputation grew.  The reduction of the raccoon population by 95% actually affected the water quality at the beaches, improving it because the storm drain system was where they lived. 
I wrote more informational papers.
Outside of the lab, I volunteered for a non-profit organization, setting up a lab that could test for chlorophyll.  All I asked was that the data collected be shared and it was.
New organisms were being recommended as the indicators of polluted recreational water by the US EPA.  In previous years, I was looking for this new indicator organism (enterococcus) along with the previous one (fecal coliforms), well because.  I continued, trying to link old information with the new, but then I noticed something interesting.  Using fecal coliforms, I was never able to predict when they would be elevated.  Part of the reason is that in warm water, they would grow if there were algae in the water, and there always were.  Now fecal coliforms and even E. coli are defined as being from warm blood mammals, but they exist just fine in a normal environment without any source.  In fact they live just fine in soil so not all of then affect health.  The enterococcus was a pathogen and more the levels would increase in the bathing waters after a heavy rain and then disappear after a day.  I did not know why the organisms seemed to dissipate after 24 hours, but with a lot of testing, the evidence was there. 
The health director embraced this and made it policy. 
I wrote a presentation, which reached the ears of the State of Connecticut policy makers, who passed to on the US Environmental Protection agency, which passed it on to the US Geological Survey agency.

For Connecticut, the state recommended all coastal towns to find ways to enact the concept of preemptive closure based on the Stamford model.

morning time

I enjoy waking up early in the summer,
not the winter.
Some days it is before anyone else,
in the semidarkness of the dawn.
Quietly,
i sit on our front porch ,
without my glasses.
I do not really see because of that,
but i sense motion
and hear as the world comes to life.
Birds chittering,
squirrels chattering
and then footsteps of people,
No one talks yet,
that comes later,
but they hustle off to start a busy day.
Cars start and the world is coming to life.
Those with whatever anger still fills there heart,
have done their mischief,
except they missed their intended mark,
they only hurt themselves.
I have finished my coffee and am not longer tired,
but the rectangular flower box is but a square to my eyes.
It is time to get up and see the world put back together again.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Changes

At the end of July in 1986 after six and one half years of being there, the health director died suddenly.  Dr. Gofstein was brilliant, speaking 6 dialects of Chinese just so he could communicate with the owners of Chinese restaurants about food safety.  He was the one who applied for the grants and on his desk were incomplete applications for a large number of them.  He did not share much with any one; he did most of the work that directed the path the health department took.  He had taken findings from our lab, most of it my own work and initiated a lawsuit against the privately owned water company in Stamford to force them to put ultra fine filters on the water coming out of the reservoir.  His budget proposals were always an honest assessment of the health department's needs.  The governing boards did not believe him because everyone padded the budgets.
He had a temper, but was just.  He had more compassion for the people of Stamford than I think anyone realized.  He was a tough man and now he was gone.
For a time, the director of Environmental Health took over as interim director.
I did not like her personally, but she supported the lab in very, very strong ways.
The interim director gave us the one computer in the health department and I immediately began using it to generate lab reports.  This did not save the data in a way that could be used, but money came from the forensic account and my very rusty skills with computers came to life.
Though the first machine was an Apple, the next were PC's and again with moneys from the forensic account we purchased a DOS based database.
This was extremely important to me because as we were analyzing more samples from the general public, I was seeing a pattern.  To quantify that pattern would take more computational skill than my little programmable Texas Instrument calculator could give me.
We were able to hire a clerk/typist, previously we had to type everything by hand or write it on a form.  The clerk was hired using the forensic money and she was very, very good.  She and I became life long friends.
A new mayor, who wanted to consolidate all the separated pieces of city government into one new building had to be convinced that the lab should be moved.  The interim director did that.
We moved into a new laboratory on the eighth floor of this new government center.  The lab was spacious, but the building was not designed to have a lab with smells and odors.  There was no ventilation.
A new director came and there were new challenges and opportunities.

Building a Reputation

The first health director had used the information that came to him from the lab to further his own ideas; the new health director relied on the information and the results of our test to make policy, at least most of the time.
My skills with databases were becoming very strong and I ended building databases for at least three other departments and there was evening work because of it.
I also used our own database to understand what was happening with well water, what were issues, what were not issues.  The new health director had me go to the American Public Health Associations (APHA) annual meeting in New York and present.  I also went to the annual American Association for the Advancement of Sciences (AAAS) in Washington DC to present the same information.
Both presentations were well received and I began to be contacted nationally regarding the information.
Unlike a private company, any information I garnered was already public information and I was open about sharing it, to the surprise of many.
The more testing we did, the more people noticed and I was featured in the local paper, along with pictures several times in the papers.  When people would compliment me on making the paper, I would make light of it saying that it was so beach goers could have a face to throw darts at when the beaches were closed.
This created a reputation for me and people would come in with problem samples.  Some times they came in with a specific thought in their mind and some times they were correct, often times it was something else.
With each person, each sample, I tried to learn something.  I did not know everything and would read and listen to anything that I could, and then I would test to see if it were true.
A fun example would address mineral build up in dishwashers; I had heard that Tang was an effective cure for the problem.  Intuitively, I understood that the citric acid in Tang would dissolve minerals, so I devised an experiment, drying calcium carbonate in a glass breaker.  I added a teaspoon of the orange powder and it dissolved the minerals in warm water.  Not content with the lab experiment, I went to the home of friends who had very hard water and added the powder to a regular run of the dishwasher, not only did it clean the dishwasher, the dishes were also sparkling for the first time in years.  Doing the "what if" thing was working nicely for me and I passed on the info.
The Environmental Health division was changing and more persons from that department were looking for help with problems they were finding.
They began to ask for my help in designing the surveys.
One particular survey challenged someone with money and influence and used tracer dyes.  I had to prepare the entire procedure because everyone was sure it would be challenged.  The orders coming from the results of the test were challenged and then appealed at the state level.  Our orders stood.  My results stood.
I now had the respect of the state.
Somewhere in this series of events, I became disliked by the one IT person the city employed for I used my skills and built a LAN system in the lab, connecting all three of our computers and I did this before anyone else was "networked" and with out the IT person's help.  Later, before the one person was replaced by a dozen, he refused to allow the lab into the city network.  The others who replaced him had no such issues and treated me as a power user with a lot of latitude.
Some times doing what was right, got me into trouble.  I tried to do hat was right anyway.
At this point the lab workers were paid significantly less than the Environmental Health personnel with a "RS" behind their names.  I thought that if I were ever to challenge that structure, I needed a "RS" or Registered Sanitarian certification.
I took the test, without studying, finished first in the group taking the test and received the highest score that had been.
More insects came to the lab for identification, some so strange, they would baffle even the experts at the State agricultural Experiment Station.
We used them a great deal, even using them for bizarre, experimental methods to help identify unknown items that were brought to the lab and now they knew us on a first name basis.
Several nearby (and some not so nearby) health departments sought our, okay in reality; it was my help in testing recreational beach water. There were several non-profit environmental agencies looking at the Long Island Sound and they began asking for help with some of the water quality questions they had.  Knowledge with them was a one-way street, I gave and they kept, but here I met an environmental activist, but realist, who volunteered at one of them.  Art Glowka and I would become good friends and he would share whatever information he could, but he was best at asking questions and I was best trying to find answers for him.  This was a symbiotic relationship.
Lyme disease began making news and we were sending the ticks to the Agricultural Experiment Station (Ag Station) for testing.  While one of the environmental health persons did the bulk of the work, we took it over after only a few years and it became a lab function.  The Ag Station appreciated our screening of things that were not ticks and our reputation increased.
Of course working in lab, we wore protective clothing, that is white lab coats.  It was obvious for persons coming into the lab that there was a great deal of medical work going on.  The white lab coat generated an unusual response from the general public, they thought we were doctors.  This was understandable for we did much clinical testing for the health department programs and for the medical community in Stamford.  Sometimes even our secretary had people open up to her on the phone concerning medical issues because we were the health department lab, but as we became known as a tick testing center, people would come in and ask any one of us if such and such was a tick bite and an article of clothing would be removed.  While for a short time one of the technicians was an MD waiting for his internship, we mostly had to calmly and carefully explain that we were not doctors and they needed to put what ever they took off, back on.
While this was a bit humorous to us, we all took the time we had advising the public very seriously, they trusted us and with Lyme disease and other issues this was very serious.
We tried to follow the Centers for Disease Control's guidelines and we told the persons coming into the lab for advice exactly what was recommended.  This brought me into some conflict with the lab director since he felt I was giving out medical advice and challenging doctors who were not treating people who had obvious symptoms, including the bull's eye rash, but rather waiting for a blood test that was at best unreliable.  I had no problem with it, but both us agreed that there were real reasons for "chronic Lyme" that went beyond an infection.
I wanted an educational seminar to educate doctors, but that was not going to happen.
Rabies crossed the Hudson River and began killing the large, urban raccoon and skunk population.  Again, we were the primary source of current information for the public, doctors and veterinarians and our reputation grew.  The reduction of the raccoon population by 95% actually affected the water quality at the beaches, improving it because the storm drain system was where they lived. 
I wrote more informational papers.
Outside of the lab, I volunteered for a non-profit organization, setting up a lab that could test for chlorophyll.  All I asked was that the data collected be shared and it was.
New organisms were being recommended as the indicators of polluted recreational water by the US EPA.  In previous years, I was looking for this new indicator organism (enterococcus) along with the previous one (fecal coliforms), well because.  I continued, trying to link old information with the new, but then I noticed something interesting.  Using fecal coliforms, I was never able to predict when they would be elevated.  Part of the reason is that in warm water, they would grow if there were algae in the water, and there always were.  Now fecal coliforms and even E. coli are defined as being from warm blood mammals, but they exist just fine in a normal environment without any source.  In fact they live just fine in soil so not all of then affect health.  The enterococcus was a pathogen and more the levels would increase in the bathing waters after a heavy rain and then disappear after a day.  I did not know why the organisms seemed to dissipate after 24 hours, but with a lot of testing, the evidence was there. 
The health director embraced this and made it policy. 
I wrote a presentation, which reached the ears of the State of Connecticut policy makers, who passed to on the US Environmental Protection agency, which passed it on to the US Geological Survey agency.
For Connecticut, the state recommended all coastal towns to find ways to enact the concept of preemptive closure based on the Stamford model.

On the Top

My reputation was growing, things were happening and it seemed as if I was being pulled in all directions, but unknown samples would come to the lab and all the curiosity that I had would be applied.  Taking something apart to find out what it might mean was at my core.
Such it was when white Styrofoam like material washed up at the beaches.  There was no information on what they might be, but when they showed up, the bacteria levels in the water would increase dramatically.
Viewing them microscopically, they look like something made of a melted wax; they had a briny sewage type odor so I took them apart.  First checking for bacteria, I found all the indicator organisms for sewage in large quantities. I used one of the machines purchased for forensic analysis and found it to be an oleic acid or a kind of cooking oil.  We reported this as sewage grease and these dirty white Styrofoam-like objects became known as "floatables", something the health director would use when talking about a beach closure.  He was laughed at professionally when he would present the issue at conferences.  I brought a sample to a conference of State and Federal officials with my findings and no one laughed any more.
A reported sewage spill had me working with a person from one of the non-profit environmental groups who had been very involved in water quality and sewage in her own country.  She taught me a great deal about organisms which would eat the bacteria from sewage and were, in her country and much of the rest of the world, true indicators of sewage contamination.  For me, I had found a reason that the bacteria that was present after a heavy rain, vanished in 24 hours.  It was eaten.
As my reputation grew, people from other states, would bring me water to test, then two persons, who lived in Stamford, but had connections in other countries, brought me water for bacterial testing.  We had strict guidelines on how to bring the water; it had to be kept cold, almost freezing, it had to be brought to the lab within 24 hours of collection and it could not be brought in on a Friday, because the test took 24 hours to complete.  One sample came from Greece, the other from Antigua, both met our guidelines and were tested, but it felt strange to be so trusted, I was honored.
I became certified by the Drug Enforcement Administration as a forensic chemist during this busy time and even testified in court once or twice, my boss testified most of the time.
With so much going on in what was my area of expertise, the lab was becoming busier in other areas where I also became involved in. 
The first was screening for blood lead and while we had been screening using several indirect methods, now we were collecting blood for lead testing directly.  We could not analyze them in our lab so they were sent to the state.  Elevated levels in the screening using a finger stick were followed with venous samples and those still elevated were followed up by a housing inspector checking for lead where the child lived and were followed by the lab until things either improved or became worse, in which case they were sent to the hospital.  One lab technician performed most of this.  We began to go out into the neighborhoods and do mass screening and at the peak of our screening, we tested over 5000 children.  Where did I fit in?  I learned to perform finger sticks and went out with the other lab person collecting blood; I created a database so we could track children and the multiple places they lived and results of their blood tests.  It was difficult, but rewarding work and the other lab person impressed me with her commitment to help children.
As the health department became more active with the lead issue, the number of elevated lead levels dropped significantly from a high of almost 25% of children tested having elevated leads to less than 0.05% in five years.  I presented this at a national environmental conference, but more importantly, we were having a tremendous impact on children's lives.
The person who did most of the clinical testing retired and a series of other persons came and left, not because they did not like the job, but because they were on the track to become medical doctors and we were just a short stop along the way.
Data, data and more data with all of this information, I became very aware that it was very easy to manipulate it to ones own ideas, if one started with an agenda.  So I became very suspicious of any claim by any organization that claimed they had found evidence for their own cause.  I found this with the studies concerning Long Island Sound and hypoxia (low dissolved oxygen in the water), while the EPA and other private environmental groups were proclaiming nitrogen as the great evil, creating algae blooms which in turn created hypoxia, I could not find the evidence in the samples brought to me and worse, I saw contradictions in the data presented by the US EPA claiming to support such things.  There was a joke that used statistics to prove speaking English caused heart disease.  While this was a joke, it showed just how manipulative statistics could be.

My curiosity needed to approach everything I tested with an open mind and that brought me to first conflict I had with the health director.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

The Fire Takes Off

Each sample that came to the lab left an impression in me.  We had no computers to compile all this information, but my mind retained it.  Homeowners were bringing samples because they wanted to know the mineral content, more specifically how hard the water was.
I added several tests relating to this because, well I was curious.
A representative of a national treatment company began bringing sample for potability testing and because I was curious, I would take a small sample and do extra tests with it and I was finding a lie.
The testing was fun to me, but the information, these numbers from the tests were becoming important, for they showed a bit of truth and they were not supporting the contention of the treatment people.
My first battle for the homeowners in Stamford had begun.
The battle only lasted a short time with this company, they left the area not willing to do a pitched battle with reality.
They were replaced by others, some claiming that the devices they were selling would cure every thing, I called consumer protection since they were selling in many towns and they left Connecticut.
Some treatment companies were not so hostile to the results I found and actually allied themselves with our lab.  Some decided to use our lab exclusively because they trusted my results.
I was sent to speak to the North Stamford Homeowners association because of these battles and was well received.  With as little as I knew (that of course, I did not know then, but now I do), I sounded like an expert and people began to bring in more water samples.
A group four of brothers, who were all well drillers, started to use me exclusively for all of their testing.  I learned more from them, than they from me.
They brought back into my life the little creature, iron bacteria for while iron bacteria has no health effects, it does a great job creating a mat effectively ruining most filter systems.  This I had learned in my short stint at the oil company lab, now this knowledge had become useful.
My knowledge of chemistry was having an impact and helping people and I was beginning to feel very useful.
Then I learned of the power of the health department.
On a Sunday, working at my part time job, I went to lunch at a fast food restaurant downtown.  There were roaches everywhere and I brought it to the attention of the manager, who treated me very rudely, finishing his tirade at me with "IF you don't like it, tell the health department!"   I replied something like, "I am the health department".  The next day I went to the primary person in charge of restaurants who proceeded to inspect and issue orders to the fast food place.  The manager treated him rudely also and a letter was sent to the corporate offices of the fast food place and the manager was fired.
I was impressed because there was much that could be done to help people, though I realized that this power could also be misused.
A summer's day, a lunch in the administrative office of the health department and everyone feel ill, including the health director.  This was my first experience with food borne illness.  The lab director knew what to do, I did not.  I watched, listened and learned.  Samples of every food were brought to the lab and tested.  The verdict?  It was the cold rice salad that had been left  out of refrigeration for too long.  Staph toxin was the result and my eyes opened wide.   I had known about chicken and eggs and pork and those issues, but rice, I never would have thought.
From that point on we would assist the Environmental Health personnel with food borne investigations.
As a public health lab we were not exactly under any department , but we were supporting all of them with our testing.  We were under the direction of the health director, who was considered to be an agent of the state health director and so we were considered to be an arm of the state lab.  There were times my direct boss, would expand testing without direct authority of the health director, but with his permission.  Such was the next element of testing the lab became involved in.
An undercover police person asked my boss if we could tell him a baggie of white powder he had purchased in an operation was cocaine.  Since we had been screening for drugs for the half way house in urine, testing this was easy.  My boss agreed and we began testing a few drug samples for the police.  This soon became a large cache of drugs brought to the lab every three weeks.
The best part of this?  We got money to buy equipment!  As long as in some way it might be used for drug testing for the police, the boards who approved money requests, would not say no.  I ordered many things that we needed for water testing, which could also be used, sometimes, for drug testing.
This money did not allow me to buy every thing I wanted, but the testing program was coming more into line with best practices and that made me happy.
More homeowners were coming to us with samples of their well water.
While I was both busy and happy, my boss still kept a watchful eye that I did not do anything else stupid.
The testing we were doing for the shellfish beds was actually monitoring  the Stamford sewage treatment plant.  The method was long and tedious and the beds were initially under the regulation of the state of Connecticut and we were doing them a favor.
A massive undertaking by the Water Pollution Control Department (This is what the sewage treatment plant called themselves) to find sewer lines not connected to the treatment plant, resulted in a lot of water testing, I was included and there was overtime, lots of overtime. 
The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) began to take an interest in all shellfish areas and began to regulate the labs which did the testing.  The state accepted all our results and they felt we were fine as a testing lab, but we had to do an examination sent by the FDA to become FDA certified.
The exercise examined a control sample sent by the FDA that resembled testing the shellfish themselves, not just the water.  There were many truly dangerous organisms in the sample and I needed to follow safety protocols very carefully during the testing.
The examination would certify the analyst, not the lab and my boss wanted me to be certified.  The testing took seven days and in the end I became certified to do the testing, along with my boss.
There was no further straying on my part and the work became more intense.  There was still a slow time in the winter, but it was not as slow and I was busy changing more tests, trying different "standard" methods to see what would work best.  I had discovered I could always order chemicals, one of our grants seemed to cover it.  More of the public would come in with different things for us to look at and most of the time it fell to me to try to find out what it was.
My reputation began to grow and my greatest ability was actually listening to people to find out what they really needed from our testing. 

The forensic testing was growing and another technician was hired strictly for that work, but there was enough for me to get involved often with the special instruments