I am, I scream!
Just be, I whisper...
I woke up this morning full of emotion, there is a lot going on and the emotion was helped by some music that I have on my computer playing all the time (yes a slight waste of energy, but truly worth it). The music culprit was Michael Gettle's San Juan Suite, New Age piano music plus a bit extra, a very uplifting piece. I woke up crying...for joy. Nothing spectacular had happened, but I was thankful and happy. There are a lot of very special people in my life and each is bringing something good to me and I am thankful.
The right side was pushing me today and the struggle between the two sides of me should not be a struggle, they should co-exist, but I am not quite there yet.
The logical, scientific side provides a lot of force, to carry me through hard times, but can not really comprehend everything that happens to me, with me, around me or in me. It takes the side with my heart to do that and it just basks in the moment and takes it all in and, says "It is good!" This part of me is the calmer, kinder part and looks for a merger of who I am, other sides, into one. The other side is not yet ready to completely relinquish itself to the other, but it does not have much choice, because there is a deep dis pair that robs that side of strength. My heart embarrasses that despair and it is gone.
So you may see wild fluctuations in my posts, but the heart is winning, it simply must.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Cleaning up
I talked about thought a post or so ago, well it comes again, this time at work. i thought I had cleaned up the place fairly well and was expecting to go forward today with other projects.
The I noticed this red stain on my lab coat. The stain is actually very pretty, almost a magenta and I knew exactly where it came from, except I had not started with the coliform broth yet.
And I found it every where and it stains the hands on cloths and really takes alcohol to clear it away and acid to remove the stain. I guess it had spilled in my absence and I did finally manage to clean it up. It was at that point my coworker decided to spill cartridge toner from theprinter for our hematology machine...everywhere. It was clean up day in the lab.
It was also reassurance day.
Three of the calls were to assure people that whatever it was they were sure was going to kill them, was not. One was earthworms, the other 2 had to do with rusty looking water for the water company pipes. All looked disgusting, but were no way dangerous (the water will taste a bit bitter, bt that is all).
Fun day.
The I noticed this red stain on my lab coat. The stain is actually very pretty, almost a magenta and I knew exactly where it came from, except I had not started with the coliform broth yet.
And I found it every where and it stains the hands on cloths and really takes alcohol to clear it away and acid to remove the stain. I guess it had spilled in my absence and I did finally manage to clean it up. It was at that point my coworker decided to spill cartridge toner from theprinter for our hematology machine...everywhere. It was clean up day in the lab.
It was also reassurance day.
Three of the calls were to assure people that whatever it was they were sure was going to kill them, was not. One was earthworms, the other 2 had to do with rusty looking water for the water company pipes. All looked disgusting, but were no way dangerous (the water will taste a bit bitter, bt that is all).
Fun day.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
A relaxing Sunday - Reflections
I decided to take it easy today, especially after yesterday and fell asleep after church.
I woke feeling better, but with lots of things going through my head. We signed up for the next weekend that the church (St. John's Lutheran) is doing a meal for Pacific house. We were surprised, they feed 60+ people a meal. That is a lot of homeless or people who do not get regular meals in Stamford. It happens to be Easter Sunday, which is apparently a difficult Sunday to get people to volunteer, it is no biggy for us. It has been a long time since we did anything this large. When John, Dave and I were with the other few of us at Saint Luke's Chapel (Now known as St. Luke's Lifeworks) for 7 years we served 2000 meals a year to who ever was there.
The lady at the church was nice and gave us their formula for doing things. I have no problem with that, but then she wanted the church to pay for all the food. That was not our purpose, we were going to buy and prepare everything. I do not think she expected this and kept bringing up that the church would pay for the food. That's when I chimed in, "we are used to doing it this way, you are looking at 3 of the 7 people who started what is know known as St. Luke's Community Services, but it was the community at St. Luke's then." She stopped offering and that's when I had my reflections.
It seems that there has been a lot going on in me for a while. I used to have to prove that I knew everything and had to some how prove that I was the expert. What goes on me now is that there are things I am, and things I am not. To say that I know something does not prove anything about any one else, does not make me better than anyone else, but it does now represent a confidence I have in me.
I am a chemist and have worked at the Stamford Health Department for almost 30 years - I know something from direct experience about drinking water, Long Island Sound, wells, run-off, and beaches. In these things I am an expert.
In the process of my work, I have also dealt with forensics (and have training), food contamination, insects, Ticks, Lyme disease and a few other things. I am not an expert, but have significant experience.
I get by with clinical stuff, but the other people in the lab are much, much better at it than I.
I have worked with mentally ill for 30 years also (professionally through the DuBois Center, the mental health association and Family Centers) and know a bit about working with them. No, I am not an expert, Doctor or anything else, but sometimes I can help.
I have worked with the poorest, the outcasts and the struggling and can really relate to them.
I paint, my style. Some other people have enjoyed it and purchased my work. I am not expert on art, but I enjoy it.
I love all kinds of music and there seems to be no bounds to the genres I enjoy, Techno, Hip Hop, Trip Hop, Pop, Classical, Jazz, Big Band, New Age, etc... I am no expert, but I do enjoy music. I do not pretend to be a musician.
I love gardening and have been given insights from people far wiser than I, the garden I plant is usually beautiful.
I was also taught about stone work and laying brick and stone walks. It something I like and I think of my dad and another old friend every time I do it. I think they are there laughing at me or what I am doing because it is a continuation of them.
Those are my reflections, When i know something, I really know it. If I don't, I don't.
There is the scientist side who always asks why and there is the artist side, who always says that something is beautiful, enjoy.
'nugh said.
I woke feeling better, but with lots of things going through my head. We signed up for the next weekend that the church (St. John's Lutheran) is doing a meal for Pacific house. We were surprised, they feed 60+ people a meal. That is a lot of homeless or people who do not get regular meals in Stamford. It happens to be Easter Sunday, which is apparently a difficult Sunday to get people to volunteer, it is no biggy for us. It has been a long time since we did anything this large. When John, Dave and I were with the other few of us at Saint Luke's Chapel (Now known as St. Luke's Lifeworks) for 7 years we served 2000 meals a year to who ever was there.
The lady at the church was nice and gave us their formula for doing things. I have no problem with that, but then she wanted the church to pay for all the food. That was not our purpose, we were going to buy and prepare everything. I do not think she expected this and kept bringing up that the church would pay for the food. That's when I chimed in, "we are used to doing it this way, you are looking at 3 of the 7 people who started what is know known as St. Luke's Community Services, but it was the community at St. Luke's then." She stopped offering and that's when I had my reflections.
It seems that there has been a lot going on in me for a while. I used to have to prove that I knew everything and had to some how prove that I was the expert. What goes on me now is that there are things I am, and things I am not. To say that I know something does not prove anything about any one else, does not make me better than anyone else, but it does now represent a confidence I have in me.
I am a chemist and have worked at the Stamford Health Department for almost 30 years - I know something from direct experience about drinking water, Long Island Sound, wells, run-off, and beaches. In these things I am an expert.
In the process of my work, I have also dealt with forensics (and have training), food contamination, insects, Ticks, Lyme disease and a few other things. I am not an expert, but have significant experience.
I get by with clinical stuff, but the other people in the lab are much, much better at it than I.
I have worked with mentally ill for 30 years also (professionally through the DuBois Center, the mental health association and Family Centers) and know a bit about working with them. No, I am not an expert, Doctor or anything else, but sometimes I can help.
I have worked with the poorest, the outcasts and the struggling and can really relate to them.
I paint, my style. Some other people have enjoyed it and purchased my work. I am not expert on art, but I enjoy it.
I love all kinds of music and there seems to be no bounds to the genres I enjoy, Techno, Hip Hop, Trip Hop, Pop, Classical, Jazz, Big Band, New Age, etc... I am no expert, but I do enjoy music. I do not pretend to be a musician.
I love gardening and have been given insights from people far wiser than I, the garden I plant is usually beautiful.
I was also taught about stone work and laying brick and stone walks. It something I like and I think of my dad and another old friend every time I do it. I think they are there laughing at me or what I am doing because it is a continuation of them.
Those are my reflections, When i know something, I really know it. If I don't, I don't.
There is the scientist side who always asks why and there is the artist side, who always says that something is beautiful, enjoy.
'nugh said.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Thought
So I thought i was doing good. I made a full week with several 4 hour days. I did some banking after one of them. Today I got up late (8 AM) and did some yard work. I felt good. I went with a friend to Trader Joe's, then rested a bit, then out to a coffee cupping meet-up. This was nice. I felt I had a full day. Cae home and started the chicken for tonight, Dave cooked everything else. There was a hint of trouble when my friend called me and told me everything I bought was still over her house. No big deal, nothing really perishable. Then dinner came, it was great and I wanted some seconds on rice. I put the rice on the plate and it promptly flipped on the floor cause I could not see it was half off the edge. I was upset, unhappy and I did not get any rice. Jake (the black lab) enjoyed my loss. I did not.
That is what happens with thought.
That is what happens with thought.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Better
I have been doing better. Work has helped, my friends have helped. I have at least one special friend who has been very uplifting to my spirits. She has come over for dinner 3 times now. This has been wonderful, even with my other house mates.
I hope it continues.
I hope it continues.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Attitude
I had to catch up on the Environmental blog so i have not posted for a bit, but things are well. Okay, things are up and down, good and bad, one day to the next, in other words, fairly normal.
I have managed to extend my time at the lab a bit and have caught up most of the databases that had been neglected during my absence - rain fall, ticks, etc... and have got enough samples to keep me happy and fascinated.
i have forgotten how difficult it is to deal with the public (yes, I know you all are them) when you are the wrong place to get particular information from and have to take time to look it up (the phone trees are never user friendly, sorry Mayor, but then what do you do when positions are eliminated and there just is not enough help?).
I had a great Monday and Tuesday, a bad Wednesday and a good today, energy and eye wise. So you hear no complaints from me. I have stayed a bit longer and that is good.
Still anxious to do that arsenic study, but have to wait for the instrument. I would like to be proactive (again) and find out that something is not a problem (or is) before it becomes an emergency.
On more personal note, I am kind of glad that the curious, always seeking answers, scientist side of me has taken a second layer to the other side, which tells me to stop and smell the roses.
Life is more enjoyable this way.
I have managed to extend my time at the lab a bit and have caught up most of the databases that had been neglected during my absence - rain fall, ticks, etc... and have got enough samples to keep me happy and fascinated.
i have forgotten how difficult it is to deal with the public (yes, I know you all are them) when you are the wrong place to get particular information from and have to take time to look it up (the phone trees are never user friendly, sorry Mayor, but then what do you do when positions are eliminated and there just is not enough help?).
I had a great Monday and Tuesday, a bad Wednesday and a good today, energy and eye wise. So you hear no complaints from me. I have stayed a bit longer and that is good.
Still anxious to do that arsenic study, but have to wait for the instrument. I would like to be proactive (again) and find out that something is not a problem (or is) before it becomes an emergency.
On more personal note, I am kind of glad that the curious, always seeking answers, scientist side of me has taken a second layer to the other side, which tells me to stop and smell the roses.
Life is more enjoyable this way.
Monday, March 23, 2009
lessons
I had a chance to share with a friend going threw a hard time, so it was time to share with everyone/
Both learned during my adventure
I have a tendency to get worked up, riled up and otherwise messed up when I want to fight a battle, particularly one where the other side is so clearly wrong.
I learned and have to remind myself often that that is not how to win a battle.
It is when you are full of confidence in what you believe, have done or just who you are and it simply no longer matters what the "other" side thinks, says or does, that you win and what the other side does or does not do no longer matters anyway.
Lesson 2: Was more interesting because I always thought that when I was king, generous or thoughtful it would come back when I wanted it or from the persons or person I wanted it from.
This is not so.
It comes back when you really need it.
It comes back from strangers and people always there for you.
no more to be said
Both learned during my adventure
I have a tendency to get worked up, riled up and otherwise messed up when I want to fight a battle, particularly one where the other side is so clearly wrong.
I learned and have to remind myself often that that is not how to win a battle.
It is when you are full of confidence in what you believe, have done or just who you are and it simply no longer matters what the "other" side thinks, says or does, that you win and what the other side does or does not do no longer matters anyway.
Lesson 2: Was more interesting because I always thought that when I was king, generous or thoughtful it would come back when I wanted it or from the persons or person I wanted it from.
This is not so.
It comes back when you really need it.
It comes back from strangers and people always there for you.
no more to be said
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Past the annual
I as truly out of it on March 18th of this year, after those eye exercises and everything and totally missed my annual, I mean my first anniversary of blogging! Yes I started on March 18th, 2008 and it is all StamfordTalk's fault! Now i really did not get going well until May 10 (2 posts in March of 2008), but StamfordTalk did inspire me. Well i stand corrected, I did do an environmental post on March 5, 2008! Still, it was StamfordTalk who helped me understand the joys of blogging and then I found out just how important it was during my adventure, proceeding to blog as often as I could chronicling the long road from babbling idiot to sane man again.
It was beyond my expectations an extremely valuable tool in my recovery and along the way I picked up a number of people who I would call on line friends. the support has been real, the issues have been real. The stories have been incredible!
So for everyone who has every stopped by, read or left a comment or a prayer, I thank you.
It was beyond my expectations an extremely valuable tool in my recovery and along the way I picked up a number of people who I would call on line friends. the support has been real, the issues have been real. The stories have been incredible!
So for everyone who has every stopped by, read or left a comment or a prayer, I thank you.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Progress
Yesterday was a good day and slowly i have been getting back into my old habits. Corrected some outdated VBA code at work, came home at 11:30. nut by 2 started on my painting again. All of which are simple, but very important parts of recovery. Today I was helping someone with Excel graphics. This is all positive, Then i had a friend with his partner and 4 kids over for dinner.
I do think I will take it easy tomorrow, but who knows. This is close to the life I was used to before the Adventure and it feels good.
I do think I will take it easy tomorrow, but who knows. This is close to the life I was used to before the Adventure and it feels good.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Things change
A year ago, when I was supposedly healthy (more unawares of what was growing in the back of my head), on a day like today, I would have not thought twice about jumping into my car and driving to work. Toady, I will not drive, so with out a second thought, I walked. It really is not far, 15 minutes door to door, but it had to be a really good day for me to walk. Now it has to be a really bad day (a foot of snow as an example) for me to even take the bus.
Now my doctors appointments continued on Tuesday down at SUNY optometry, amidst all the Irish for a day throng.
The news was a little mixed, with one doctor thinking I will always need some prism, but seeing vast improvement in the range that I can hold single vision. prism-wise.
Then came the exercises, and I almost did not go to work on Wednesday, that is how much the eye muscles were worked.
Then they gave me home work and I started it Wednesday night and some more last night and will try to do the whole thing tonight. It is very tiring stuff.
At work, I have almost brought everything I can back on line and cleaned everything with a layer of dust.
I am still leaving after 3.5 hours, my eyes still get very tired, but I am expecting that. Maybe in another week or so, I will try to extend a bit, but I have to be ready. As you can tell, when my eyes are wiped out, I do NOTHING. not even blog.
And if any one wonders, I have not tried to finish that painting, though I think the time is coming soon.
Now my doctors appointments continued on Tuesday down at SUNY optometry, amidst all the Irish for a day throng.
The news was a little mixed, with one doctor thinking I will always need some prism, but seeing vast improvement in the range that I can hold single vision. prism-wise.
Then came the exercises, and I almost did not go to work on Wednesday, that is how much the eye muscles were worked.
Then they gave me home work and I started it Wednesday night and some more last night and will try to do the whole thing tonight. It is very tiring stuff.
At work, I have almost brought everything I can back on line and cleaned everything with a layer of dust.
I am still leaving after 3.5 hours, my eyes still get very tired, but I am expecting that. Maybe in another week or so, I will try to extend a bit, but I have to be ready. As you can tell, when my eyes are wiped out, I do NOTHING. not even blog.
And if any one wonders, I have not tried to finish that painting, though I think the time is coming soon.
Monday, March 16, 2009
A tough Monday
Today was a day of settling loose ends at least for a day. Tomorrow I go to New York to see the optometrist people and see what they say. I think I have mentioned that my reading glasses with the prisms are useless now, I see double the other way. By 11:30 Am, my eyes are beat and nothing seems right. The convergence of images in the morning is startling, just not total and so even more confusing than ever. There also has been a feeling like muscles waking up when they have fallen "asleep" in the back of my head. Each time this happens there seems to be more feeling back there. There has been no feeling for a long time and it feels strange to put my hand to the back of my head and not feel any thing.
Good night for another day.
I have been enjoying different posts, but am liking the painter of Stamford and some of the local scenes she has been doing.
Good night for another day.
I have been enjoying different posts, but am liking the painter of Stamford and some of the local scenes she has been doing.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
What a gorgeous day!
Yes. What a gorgeous day!
I will repeat, it lifted my spirits and made me feel more positive, except my eyes were causing me to bug out big time.
I woke up late (8 am), took a nap at 1 PM and another right about 4 PM. I was hoping for company for dinner, but they seemed to have kind of disappeared.
Oh, well, I guess I will work in the garden!
I will repeat, it lifted my spirits and made me feel more positive, except my eyes were causing me to bug out big time.
I woke up late (8 am), took a nap at 1 PM and another right about 4 PM. I was hoping for company for dinner, but they seemed to have kind of disappeared.
Oh, well, I guess I will work in the garden!
Saturday, March 14, 2009
More Tributes
It is chilly out, I want to work in my garden, I am frustrated with my lack of balance, I need this eye thing to finish, I want my friends around me and in the mist of all this I feel peace.
My tribute to Ricardo!
I thought of papa and went to his wake last night. I forgot I took a picture of he and his wife a bit ago.
Not the greatest of pictures, but it was who they were so much of the time.
My mom has been getting rest, but of course they have to feed her 3 times a day and she is usually ready to take a nap. She sounds very good and my cousin says she looks good. I can not ask for more.
I get to go to SUNY on Tuesday and we will see what they say!
Yes work has been a real "upper" for me. As much as I try to live as a pacifist, I still love a good fight and had several during the course of the week. The little guy (me) won them all. the fights were all about truth and protecting the public and the little guys. It is something I need to do deep down.
My tribute to Ricardo!
I thought of papa and went to his wake last night. I forgot I took a picture of he and his wife a bit ago.
Not the greatest of pictures, but it was who they were so much of the time.
My mom has been getting rest, but of course they have to feed her 3 times a day and she is usually ready to take a nap. She sounds very good and my cousin says she looks good. I can not ask for more.
I get to go to SUNY on Tuesday and we will see what they say!
Yes work has been a real "upper" for me. As much as I try to live as a pacifist, I still love a good fight and had several during the course of the week. The little guy (me) won them all. the fights were all about truth and protecting the public and the little guys. It is something I need to do deep down.
Friday, March 13, 2009
The ups and downs of life
The last few days at work have been tough, physical demanding, lots of things to check and then there is vindication also.
The FDA vindicated my assessment of a canned product and the manufacturer is now scrambling after being a bit blase about it at first. It did create more work for me, but that was okay, this is what I love.
The real thing is that I am on no ones side. I look for what ever is real and report it.
I have gone against city policy and assessments because they were not right, I have challenged the USEPA cause they were not right.
I have helped and hurt home owners based on what ever it is that I find in a sample.
This is actually very freeing and of course it does not make me richer.
I guess I am a real pain cause I love what I do.
All I can say is that the glasses work well and I am happy.
The walk to and from work is healthy for me cause it clears my head.
Yesterday, I was really tired, the day before, down, today, good and I almost miss that I am not going in to work tomorrow.
Life is like that.
The FDA vindicated my assessment of a canned product and the manufacturer is now scrambling after being a bit blase about it at first. It did create more work for me, but that was okay, this is what I love.
The real thing is that I am on no ones side. I look for what ever is real and report it.
I have gone against city policy and assessments because they were not right, I have challenged the USEPA cause they were not right.
I have helped and hurt home owners based on what ever it is that I find in a sample.
This is actually very freeing and of course it does not make me richer.
I guess I am a real pain cause I love what I do.
All I can say is that the glasses work well and I am happy.
The walk to and from work is healthy for me cause it clears my head.
Yesterday, I was really tired, the day before, down, today, good and I almost miss that I am not going in to work tomorrow.
Life is like that.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
a tribute
Papa died last night.
No, not my dad, he has been gone some time, no this was "Papa", the papa of our neighborhood. I actually do not know his first name because everyone called him papa. He spoke mostly Italian, but understood Spanish as well. He was from the old country and came here after WWII. I have known the neighborhood since the early 80's and he was here.
He was 93.
His wife still lives in the house, his two sons have children, who have children. They would all meet every few weeks on this little street. It was great.
We will all miss him.
No, not my dad, he has been gone some time, no this was "Papa", the papa of our neighborhood. I actually do not know his first name because everyone called him papa. He spoke mostly Italian, but understood Spanish as well. He was from the old country and came here after WWII. I have known the neighborhood since the early 80's and he was here.
He was 93.
His wife still lives in the house, his two sons have children, who have children. They would all meet every few weeks on this little street. It was great.
We will all miss him.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Lost it!
My frustration levels have been growing as my eyes are acting up. I see the optometrists on Tuesday, but I am not convinced that there is anything that is bad about this, It just makes my life miserable. With the glasses, my clear vision field is shrinking, from both sides, long and short distances. They are doubling the opposite way which I see without the glasses. This means of course I am getting better, but the intensity of trying to do things is great.
Of course it does not stop me (do I take after my mom here?). Today, I had fun something that was found in a canned product was brought to me to identify and I have started the ball rolling for another potential recall. Of course I was disgusted, but like any good investigator, I had fun identifying the item, a processed rodent. I guess dead things don't bother me, just like on any good CSI or NCIS show. This actually cheered me up from the funk I had been feeling the day before.
Where did I lose it? Last night after watching a very intence video called MR Poole, which was very good, but the emotional range I identified with way to much andgot fairly upset at the end of the movie. Poor Dave was mystified and I told him we really need to stick to light romatic comedies.
Of course it does not stop me (do I take after my mom here?). Today, I had fun something that was found in a canned product was brought to me to identify and I have started the ball rolling for another potential recall. Of course I was disgusted, but like any good investigator, I had fun identifying the item, a processed rodent. I guess dead things don't bother me, just like on any good CSI or NCIS show. This actually cheered me up from the funk I had been feeling the day before.
Where did I lose it? Last night after watching a very intence video called MR Poole, which was very good, but the emotional range I identified with way to much andgot fairly upset at the end of the movie. Poor Dave was mystified and I told him we really need to stick to light romatic comedies.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Slightly down
I am dealing with a lot of emotion reading various posts, it is intense.
My mom is in a rehab facility for a couple of weeks and of course she doesn't answer her cell, making a little freaked out, but there is no reason for concern, besides the fall, nothing happened to her and the rest with people around her will do her good. Maybe she could do this every so often, not get hurt but get into a "transitional" facility for a week or so. I do not know what I am saying, that is kinda what would happen when she would come up here, I would take care of her, drive her around and she would not have to do anything. Every time except this last time, I could not take care of her, I was too weak. And it put a strain on her cause she wanted to take care of me, but could not. That is why she went home in November. It was stressful on her, she just could not say it.
Work is going, but I am getting really tired at the end of a half day. There is so much to do and I do not have a full energy to do it.
There is a lot more budget stuff going on and it puts pressure on my boss to have us do less. The other girl complains there is not enough to do and I feel overwhelmed. I do not like this at all.
Old familiar customers stop by saying they are glad i am back and bring water to be tested.
The State inspector wants to come down and inspect, I am not ready.
I am doing what is needed to insure that what ever report I generate will work with teh proper quality control. For every one test there are 5 or 6 control procedures to run, that is a lot of work.
I think I am rambling, so i will close down.
My mom is in a rehab facility for a couple of weeks and of course she doesn't answer her cell, making a little freaked out, but there is no reason for concern, besides the fall, nothing happened to her and the rest with people around her will do her good. Maybe she could do this every so often, not get hurt but get into a "transitional" facility for a week or so. I do not know what I am saying, that is kinda what would happen when she would come up here, I would take care of her, drive her around and she would not have to do anything. Every time except this last time, I could not take care of her, I was too weak. And it put a strain on her cause she wanted to take care of me, but could not. That is why she went home in November. It was stressful on her, she just could not say it.
Work is going, but I am getting really tired at the end of a half day. There is so much to do and I do not have a full energy to do it.
There is a lot more budget stuff going on and it puts pressure on my boss to have us do less. The other girl complains there is not enough to do and I feel overwhelmed. I do not like this at all.
Old familiar customers stop by saying they are glad i am back and bring water to be tested.
The State inspector wants to come down and inspect, I am not ready.
I am doing what is needed to insure that what ever report I generate will work with teh proper quality control. For every one test there are 5 or 6 control procedures to run, that is a lot of work.
I think I am rambling, so i will close down.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Monday Monday
When I made my post yesterday, I am sure I had some snappy title in mind, but I wasn't doing all that good yesterday. My glasses fell apart, my mom was on my mind and I was not all together (of course I do not remember ever being all together, but never mind).
We have an odd custom at or house recently and that is Sunday night dinner is at the Stamford, IHOP. Now IHOP is not all that good, I think John makes much better pancakes and the dinners are just so so, kinda like a diner, but the help is nice and down right fun. Most do not write down orders and get them right. The two waitresses have a thing for John. John is 6 foot something and built like a lumberjack. He is one of the gentlest people I have ever met and both of them go over to him a give him hugs, disappearing into his massive frame. I think it is like hugging a giant teddy bear, who would not want to. His profession is that of a building engineer, so in the building he takes care of , he does everything from electrical to painting and he does it well.
On my work, I have been busy, very busy. The tick season is beginning and one of the places who we will send the tick to has changed, not only their prices, but what they do and so we have to change our forms as well (no, they don't provide them for us). Only a few water tests and the machine we need is still waiting for final approval.
I think it will be big if we get it! And I can not wait!
David got called into pet smart at 6:30 Am, cause pet owners are still bording their pets! Good for David.
We have an odd custom at or house recently and that is Sunday night dinner is at the Stamford, IHOP. Now IHOP is not all that good, I think John makes much better pancakes and the dinners are just so so, kinda like a diner, but the help is nice and down right fun. Most do not write down orders and get them right. The two waitresses have a thing for John. John is 6 foot something and built like a lumberjack. He is one of the gentlest people I have ever met and both of them go over to him a give him hugs, disappearing into his massive frame. I think it is like hugging a giant teddy bear, who would not want to. His profession is that of a building engineer, so in the building he takes care of , he does everything from electrical to painting and he does it well.
On my work, I have been busy, very busy. The tick season is beginning and one of the places who we will send the tick to has changed, not only their prices, but what they do and so we have to change our forms as well (no, they don't provide them for us). Only a few water tests and the machine we need is still waiting for final approval.
I think it will be big if we get it! And I can not wait!
David got called into pet smart at 6:30 Am, cause pet owners are still bording their pets! Good for David.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Okay, there's no label for this one
So my Mom is still in the hospital in VA Beach. I got a good report from my cousin and says mostly they are keeping her for a UTI and observation. Somewhere, someone realized the pain from the bone marrow sample was too much and that is the big deal. SO she will be released to a short term rehab unit until she is back to her normal. Then we find out the results of the bone marrow test some 2 weeks from now.
This really did get me upset, my own BP has been higher than it should be and I have been agitated. On top of that, I popped the lens out of my glasses and was basically blind for half the day. John, the engineer of the house (yes, really a building engineer) put the glasses together and I can see again.
There will be a new upscale Mexican restaurant/tequila bar in Port Chester in June - not in Stamford. I actually encourage first time restaurant's to go to other towns because it is a bit difficult to go through the plan review in Stamford (As Wild Buffalo Wings and Mary Anns' are finding out). I actually approve of the concept (you get it started the best as possible, read as close to CT code here, and then it takes a while for it to go down hill). This in turn retards the occurrence of food borne illnesses due to faulty equipment. It does work cause the number of super investigations have been down since that policy was instituted a while back. Of course the Pellichi's incident happened first.
This really did get me upset, my own BP has been higher than it should be and I have been agitated. On top of that, I popped the lens out of my glasses and was basically blind for half the day. John, the engineer of the house (yes, really a building engineer) put the glasses together and I can see again.
There will be a new upscale Mexican restaurant/tequila bar in Port Chester in June - not in Stamford. I actually encourage first time restaurant's to go to other towns because it is a bit difficult to go through the plan review in Stamford (As Wild Buffalo Wings and Mary Anns' are finding out). I actually approve of the concept (you get it started the best as possible, read as close to CT code here, and then it takes a while for it to go down hill). This in turn retards the occurrence of food borne illnesses due to faulty equipment. It does work cause the number of super investigations have been down since that policy was instituted a while back. Of course the Pellichi's incident happened first.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
What were They Thinking?
It took me just a bit, but I am furious! The following awards go tyo:
1) My mom's doctors, who while searching for the causeof her anemia decided to take a bone marrow sample in the office.
The reasons I am mad? I know that the sampling hurts - severely and my mom complained
about it. For God's sakes, she is 85! What was their lack of comprehension?
2) I know treatments have improved, but they are, from my understanding, very debilitating. So if the doctor finds something wrong with her bone marrow, just what is he going to do to treat her? A bone marrow transplant????
Again, she is 85. She has lived a long and very productive life. If this is serious
(which I do not know yet), then make her comfortable, do NOT put her in agony.
3) Of course my aunt (her sister) believes all old people should be in nursing homes and using this to try to prevail her thought on my mom.
My mom has been very self sufficient, she fell cause she took out the garbage after
having a bone marrow sample. I probably would have fallen. She has been independent
and self willed for all her life. She got a pilots license at 18, she left home to go to
Washington DC to be a Nurse at 24, she still drives, very well I might add and goes out
several times a week. She is not an invalid and does have some help come every week.
4) My poor independent mom, who refused to ask for help to take a very heavy trash can out.
I will say no more on that matter.
But all is not complaining
5) To the other side, there is David, who got employee of the month at Pet Smart for February! I gues his love of animals shows real good!
1) My mom's doctors, who while searching for the causeof her anemia decided to take a bone marrow sample in the office.
The reasons I am mad? I know that the sampling hurts - severely and my mom complained
about it. For God's sakes, she is 85! What was their lack of comprehension?
2) I know treatments have improved, but they are, from my understanding, very debilitating. So if the doctor finds something wrong with her bone marrow, just what is he going to do to treat her? A bone marrow transplant????
Again, she is 85. She has lived a long and very productive life. If this is serious
(which I do not know yet), then make her comfortable, do NOT put her in agony.
3) Of course my aunt (her sister) believes all old people should be in nursing homes and using this to try to prevail her thought on my mom.
My mom has been very self sufficient, she fell cause she took out the garbage after
having a bone marrow sample. I probably would have fallen. She has been independent
and self willed for all her life. She got a pilots license at 18, she left home to go to
Washington DC to be a Nurse at 24, she still drives, very well I might add and goes out
several times a week. She is not an invalid and does have some help come every week.
4) My poor independent mom, who refused to ask for help to take a very heavy trash can out.
I will say no more on that matter.
But all is not complaining
5) To the other side, there is David, who got employee of the month at Pet Smart for February! I gues his love of animals shows real good!
Friday, March 6, 2009
A bit much
My eyes have been bugging me lately, but it is okay cause I think it is because they are improving. The reading glasses which have the most prism effect, seem to be useless and I am doing most of my work with the regular distance glasses (reading included). This of course tires out my eyes, but I am checking separation distances and there is a slight change. The Appointment on Tuesday was canceled cause the doctor was not in, so it is rescheduled for the 17th. Who knows where I will be at that time.
I figure this might happen and may have to limit my work time a bit, but that is okay, I miss calculated in September and I have more days left than I had figured.
What else? My mom fell in Virginia. It was not serious and I actually anticipated it. They were trying to find out why she is so anemic and took a bone marrow sample, but the doctor caused some pain (this is not abnormal) in the left leg where he took it from. My mom does too much on here own and was taking out the trash and lost her balance. No broken bones, no sprains, but she could not get up. She had a life line and pressed it...finally. Then a neighbor came home and found her after the ambulance was on the way. My Aunt called me and I knew that something like this was up, cause she doesn't call otherwise.
My aunt wants my mom in assisted living, my mom has no intention of going. I stay out of the battle of wills. She will probably go to something temporary, but she will be back to her place soon enough.
LIFE!
I figure this might happen and may have to limit my work time a bit, but that is okay, I miss calculated in September and I have more days left than I had figured.
What else? My mom fell in Virginia. It was not serious and I actually anticipated it. They were trying to find out why she is so anemic and took a bone marrow sample, but the doctor caused some pain (this is not abnormal) in the left leg where he took it from. My mom does too much on here own and was taking out the trash and lost her balance. No broken bones, no sprains, but she could not get up. She had a life line and pressed it...finally. Then a neighbor came home and found her after the ambulance was on the way. My Aunt called me and I knew that something like this was up, cause she doesn't call otherwise.
My aunt wants my mom in assisted living, my mom has no intention of going. I stay out of the battle of wills. She will probably go to something temporary, but she will be back to her place soon enough.
LIFE!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
A walk home
One of the fun things that happens when one walks home in Stamford is that you see a lot of things that you normally miss when driving. Of course this is because you are being extra careful when driving cause most drivers are nut cases.
Today i got to see the response to a fire at the old YMCA. It was definitely electrical in nature by the smell and they blacked off Washington Blvd in front of the YMCA so no traffic got through. There were still workers in the building, which was bizarre and there was no smoke only the heavy smell of wires burning.
I was happy to head home and it was good that most of the white stuff was off the sidewalks.
Today i got to see the response to a fire at the old YMCA. It was definitely electrical in nature by the smell and they blacked off Washington Blvd in front of the YMCA so no traffic got through. There were still workers in the building, which was bizarre and there was no smoke only the heavy smell of wires burning.
I was happy to head home and it was good that most of the white stuff was off the sidewalks.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Ah some not so complaining news
I got back to work today and I did it through CT Transit! It was amazing, the bus stopped on West Broad right down from my house, cost $1.25 and dropped me at the Government center. And, And it only took 15 minutes! I was amazed. When I first came to Stamford, I did a lot of busing and it was terrible, hour waits, rides and transfers. I was impressed.
Today, I remembered why I love my job so much. Besides telling my boss why I think getting a new instrument to do metals is so important and he then going to the doctor with that info, I got to help several people with, yuck, ticks! The first was only a very engorged dog tick (no Lyme disease in that one) and the other was maybe a slightly engorged deer tick. The second was more important cause they spoke broken English and I am able to communicate conversationally in Spanish with them. So I get to tell them what to look for, the red rash, the fever, the aches and a time frame and we sent the tick off for testing also. It was almost at my limit (11:30) and my eyes were straining, but it felt good to help people again.
That was the big thing always.
Today, I remembered why I love my job so much. Besides telling my boss why I think getting a new instrument to do metals is so important and he then going to the doctor with that info, I got to help several people with, yuck, ticks! The first was only a very engorged dog tick (no Lyme disease in that one) and the other was maybe a slightly engorged deer tick. The second was more important cause they spoke broken English and I am able to communicate conversationally in Spanish with them. So I get to tell them what to look for, the red rash, the fever, the aches and a time frame and we sent the tick off for testing also. It was almost at my limit (11:30) and my eyes were straining, but it felt good to help people again.
That was the big thing always.
Monday, March 2, 2009
White Out!
The Snow Flies,
Piling higher, deeper still,
It still flies at mornings light,
tho the sun does not shine.
No way Jose',
There is no work for me today!
I could not risk it, trying to walk in this stuff that is. I am unstable enough and it is more that we have seen in any one event this season. My only hope is that it protects the buds I see beginning to come out.
I hope that this is our last for this season.
Piling higher, deeper still,
It still flies at mornings light,
tho the sun does not shine.
No way Jose',
There is no work for me today!
I could not risk it, trying to walk in this stuff that is. I am unstable enough and it is more that we have seen in any one event this season. My only hope is that it protects the buds I see beginning to come out.
I hope that this is our last for this season.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
The Ugly Duckling
This is going to be a strange post. I have been delving very deeply into me, this is what "my adventure" seems to have required of me. It gives me time to reflect, sort out and be surprised.
Medically, the doctors are surprised that the double vision still exists, several on a spiritual plane have repeated the same phrase to me; "The eyes or the windows of your soul, what are you afraid of seeing?"
And so I start looking deep, because the answer is always the same, "Me."
There are issues i will not bring up, but i disbelieve that there is goodness in me. It is kind of why I relate to "dark heroes", Buffy, Bat Man, Many of the roles Bruce Willis plays, etc...
Each character is extremely flawed and make up for it performing super hero, save the day things. I relate to that (not that i think i am a superhero or anything like that, just that i try to make up for my flaws by doing good).
Somewhere the story of the ugly duckling comes to mind, especially with the physical issues of my sight going on. I feel ungainly, shier than even before, unbalanced, ugly.
And of course there are the awful whispering in my head, this will never get better, no one likes you, you are stupid etc...
Strange tho, they seem to come from outside rather than inside me now and they seem more like lies, rather than part of my being.
I think i have been the ugly duckling too long and am afraid to look in the mirrored water to see what a beautiful swan I have become.
Medically, the doctors are surprised that the double vision still exists, several on a spiritual plane have repeated the same phrase to me; "The eyes or the windows of your soul, what are you afraid of seeing?"
And so I start looking deep, because the answer is always the same, "Me."
There are issues i will not bring up, but i disbelieve that there is goodness in me. It is kind of why I relate to "dark heroes", Buffy, Bat Man, Many of the roles Bruce Willis plays, etc...
Each character is extremely flawed and make up for it performing super hero, save the day things. I relate to that (not that i think i am a superhero or anything like that, just that i try to make up for my flaws by doing good).
Somewhere the story of the ugly duckling comes to mind, especially with the physical issues of my sight going on. I feel ungainly, shier than even before, unbalanced, ugly.
And of course there are the awful whispering in my head, this will never get better, no one likes you, you are stupid etc...
Strange tho, they seem to come from outside rather than inside me now and they seem more like lies, rather than part of my being.
I think i have been the ugly duckling too long and am afraid to look in the mirrored water to see what a beautiful swan I have become.
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